Since we live in an age of meism, connecting with people is becoming a lost art form. We have become electronically close but emotionally distant. We are way too busy in the mainstream of living to concern ourselves with anyone else but ourselves. It’s all about me, right?
This week OSH (O. S. Hawkins) talks about encouraging people to continue to do the right thing; that’s where “a pat on the back” comes in handy; it is one of the ways we can connect with people. God knows we could use some encouragement in an age of economic uncertainty and a never-ending threat of global terrorism.
A genuine pat on the back does connect with people, and we need to do more of it. It motivates us to continue and to strive to be and do better. A genuine expression of appreciation doesn’t cost anything; but it is invaluable to the other person. Unfortunately, there are those who are more willing to put in their own two cents worth of discouragement and douse the flames of service to God than pat someone on the back for a good work. Critics are a dime a dozen; people deserving a pat on the back are priceless. I am reminded, however, that nature teaches us that even a mosquito doesn’t get a pat on the back until it starts to work! So, if you think you deserve a pat on the back just make sure you are working!
OSH is taking his subject matter out of the little book of Philemon (only 25 verses). Contextually, Philemon is about forgiveness. It is the absence of forgiveness which happens to be one of the biggest culprits in breaking the connection in a relationship. Vengeance is all too commonplace among God’s people never exercising the goodness of forgiveness to avoid a ruined relationship. There is no connecting with people whenever forgiveness is absent in the heart. We cannot connect with the saints when we fail to exercise our capacity to forgive one another.
As we move closer to the end of times, it seems as if unforgiveness is becoming more widespread among believers. Christians are not forgiving one another; they would rather hold grudges, retaliate, and get even just like the world. Nowadays, people’s self-esteem is like a pinball machine. Bump it the wrong way and things quit working, tilt flashes on the screen, and everything goes dead. Unforgiveness can tear a huge hole in the fabric of our relationships. The scary thing is that most of the time it is over petty, insignificant things. God’s people should never carry their feeling upon their shoulders. Forgiveness is not about emotions; it’s about obedience to God’s Word.
Now, don’t expect the world to give us any great advice on forgiveness because the world is not interested in forgiveness, only hatred and vengeance. Any student of history can attest to that. If you want to read how we were before we got saved check out Rom 3:10-12 to see our nature as an unbeliever and our relationships in verses 13-18. When the world does love it is because there is a benefit behind it. To be clear about this an unbeliever does not possess agape love (God’s kind of love), only true believers.
In contrast to the world, God gives us instructions on connecting with people through forgiveness. Why is this so important? Well, there are several reasons but primarily, for times sake, I will mention only one; unforgiveness which hinders our fellowship with God.
Jesus said, Mat 6:15, But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
We are out of fellowship with God if we fail to forgive. This truth could not be plainer in Mat 6:15.
When the question was posed to Jesus by His disciples on how many times we are to forgive an offending brother, He said, seventy times seven (Mt. 18:22). We always forgive. Naturally, this is not a carte blanche for the offending brother; there are always consequences for disobeying God’s will for either party.
The intention of the Holy Spirit in writing this letter to Philemon is for us to learn how to be a forgiver. As we said before, unforgiveness is one of the biggest reasons we fail to connect with people. In Philemon, verses 4-7, we see Paul describing a man who will be a forgiver, and we are going to see what kind of person has the capacity to forgive.
You know the story.
- Philemon was a wealthy business man who lived in Colossae.
- Tradition holds he was married to Apphia and had a son in the ministry by the name of Archippus.
- The church met in Philemon’s home.
- Philemon had a slave by the name of Onesimus who wanted his freedom; so, he stole from his master and fled Colossae to the big city of Rome, not Rome, Georgia.
- In Rome Onesimus ran into the Apostle Paul who not only led him to Christ but had led his Master Philemon to Christ! How providential is that!
- So Paul sends Onesimus back to Philemon with this letter explaining what happened and asking Philemon to forgive Onesimus.
- The nagging problem was Onesimus had committed two serious offenses as a slave worthy of imprisonment or death by crucifixion. He was not only a slave but a thief and a fugitive.
(1) If he forgave Onesimus, what would the other masters or slaves think?
(2) If he punished Onesimus (a fellow believer) how would it impact his testimony?
The world would offer a different opinion in the matter of dealing with Philemon’s runaway slave.
(1) Make him pay back every thing he had stolen and squandered in Rome and brand him on the forehead with the letter “F” (for fugitive) so everybody can see he is untrustworthy, or
(2) Crucify him as a warning to others who would run away from their master.
As the letter unfolds we see Onesimus had repented of his sin and was returning back to Colossae to face his master, Philemon. This was Onesimus’ first test of faith and one that required great courage for him to stand before his master and ask forgiveness given the possible outcomes. Philemon had every legal right to do with Onesimus as he deemed fit.
Paul understood this very well and chose to exercise great wisdom in this matter. He uses legitimate praise toward Philemon in order to promote godly behavior (a pat on the back). Praise helps to accelerate virtue and avoid vice. Now Philemon’ faith and love was about to be put to the test as he learned about the conversion of his slave, Onesimus.
In Philemon, verses 4-7 reveal what kind of person has the capacity to forgive.
Phm 1:4 I thank my God, making mention of you always in my prayers,Paul says in verse 4, I thank my God, making mention of you always in my prayers,
Phm 1:5 hearing of your love and faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints,
Phm 1:6 that the sharing of your faith may become effective by the acknowledgment of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.
Phm 1:7 For we have great joy and consolation in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother.
(1) The thrust of what Paul is saying here is that Paul gives thanks to God whenever Philemon’s name is mentioned to God in prayer. There are no known areas in Philemon’s life that Paul needs to address to God, only thanksgiving. What a testimony Philemon had for Christ!
(2) “Hearing” (v. 5) literally means, “I continue to hear.” Paul continues to hear positive things concerning Philemon. This is the testimony of a man to whom Paul will be making his appeal in behalf of Onesimus. Everything I continue to hear about you Philemon causes me to say thank you to God! That’s the idea.
What did the Apostle Paul hear about Philemon? In verse 5, hearing of your love and faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints.
(1) This verse in the Greek language is arranged in a crisscross fashion called a chiastic arrangement.
a. The first expression “hearing of your love” is connected with the last expression “toward all the saints.”
b. The second expression “hearing of your faith” goes with the first expression “toward the Lord Jesus.”
(2) This crisscross method is employed to emphasize Philemon’s love and preserve the theological order of faith in Christ then love for the saints (cf. Col 1:3). Rather than approach Philemon as an Apostle, Paul is taking a softer approach as a friend, fellow laborer, and brother, emphasizing the very virtue that he will make his appeal to -- love.
What kind of person has the capacity to forgive?
1. A forgiving person is a Christian – verse 5, hearing of your faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus.
- He is a new creation in Christ.
- He has the Holy Spirit within him Who can enable him to forgive.
- He has the impulses of a new nature.
- He has the prompting of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
- He has the conviction of the Word.
- A true believer desires to glorify or honor the Lord by doing what is right.
- He cares about the Lord.
- “You have” in verse 5 is in the present tense, you continue to have a desire to please the Lord Jesus. It’s 24/7 with Philemon.
- Because Philemon is a new creation with a new nature, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit gives Philemon the ability to forgive.
What kind of person has the capacity to forgive? One who is a Christian.
2. A forgiving person loves people – verse 5, hearing of your love which you have toward all the saints.
A. “Love” here is agape love. God’s kind of love, not human.
i. Love that gives the best that it has.B. Notice the two prepositions in verse 5, “toward.” They are different Greek words: “toward (pros) the Lord Jesus and “toward (eis) all the saints.” Both prepositions imply motion. Faith working through love is a two-fold outreach involving a vertical relationship and a horizontal relationship (like the sign of the cross), Upward to Christ and outward to others (360 degrees). This is akin to the first and second commands in Scripture. Because of our love for Christ we love our neighbor as ourselves. If we are not right with God we will not be right with man.
ii. Love that seeks the highest good – helping others be Christ-like
iii. Love that is sacrificial
iv. Love that is alien to human nature, Rom. 5:5, “…the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” When was the Holy Spirit given to us? At the moment of regeneration or salvation.
We are taught by God to love, 1 Thes 4:9, But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another.
vi. Paul describes it faith working through love in Gal 5:6.
vii. John says in 1 Jn 3:14 that if you have born again you love the brothers. If you don’t you are not born again.
viii. When we received the Holy Spirit into our heart, we were given the capacity to love one another as Christ loved us.
ix. We don’t need to ask God to help us love another; the love of God is already within us. We need to be obedient to the Holy Spirit and let love out!
x. Again, “You have” in verse 5 is in the present tense, you continue to have a love for the brethren. It’s 24/7 with Philemon, a lifestyle.
xi. Note Paul said Philemon’s love for the brethren wasn’t limited; it was toward “all the saints,” without partiality.
What kind of person has the capacity to forgive? One who loves the saints. One who is a Christian.
3. A forgiving person has a desire for fellowship – verse 6, that the sharing of your faith may become effective.
“Sharing” is the Greek word koinonia meaning participation, communion, fellowship (same word used in v. 17, “partner”).
KJV translates this word “communication.” NASB, “fellowship.”
Fellowship is not referring here to getting together to chat and consuming refreshments. It is a sense of belonging to the body of Christ, being mutual partners sharing a mutual interest – being part of the body of Christ. Concerned over the health and welfare of the body of Christ, a body consciousness, possessing the sensitivity level of when one member suffers the entire body suffers.
“The fellowship of your faith” teaches that genuine faith pursues fellowship. This addresses the meism we see today. It is not about individualism or a part of the body, but the body as a whole. The part is not greater than the whole. It’s not about my rights but what is good for the body of Christ. We don’t see that today; it’s all about me.
Paul hopes that the fellowship of Philemon’s faith becomes “effective” or powerful, active, working, operating. It is the Greek word energes where we get our English word energy.
Paul desires that the fellowship of Philemon’s faith will have a powerful impact on others for the cause of Christ. Receiving Onesimus would have a potential to make a powerful statement to those around him. It is not about me or my legal or personal right, but about something greater than me, the body of Christ that mutual partnership that we all share and belong to.
4. A forgiving person has a desire for knowledge – verse 6, by the acknowledgement of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.
A. Notice Paul says every good thing which is in you.
i. He qualifies every good thing being related to Christ – “in (unto, for the sake of) Christ Jesus.” Contrarily, Paul states in Romans 7:18 that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells, referring to the old sinful nature.B. How do we discover or learn about the good things inside of us?
ii. When we received Christ by faith, God had blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ (Eph 1:3). When God gave us a new nature He gave us many good things, for e.g., love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. The greatest gift was His Holy Spirit the Source of all spiritual blessing.
iii. Paul wanted Philemon to have the knowledge of every good thing in him.
i. Here is where we unearth another prevalent problem. Ignorance of the Bible is plaguing Christianity, causing all kinds of disconnects. So many Christians are not studying the Bible. For most reading consist of sporadic reading in a devotional booklet or reading a verse or two in SS, and reading of Bible texts in the worship service and that is the extent of reading the Bible.Do you know what flatline is? It is a medical condition where the heart or brain shows no electrical activity; it’s “dead.” This is what happens when Christians only read the flat words on the pages of Scripture (a two dimensional flat knowledge) but never have the epignosis or deeper knowledge (a three dimensional knowledge) that comes only through experience or exercise.
ii. In order for us to learn about the good things within us we have to first of all, read that is primary. The second is we have to experience or exercise the good things we read about in the Bible.
iii. Look at the word in verse 6, “acknowledgement.” The Greek word is epignosis. It refers to a deeper, more thorough, fuller knowledge, an experiential knowledge. Knowledge that comes through experience. This is where mere intellectual knowledge and experiential knowledge merges.
iv. Paul wants Philemon to recognize that within him is the goodness of forgiveness. And when Onesimus approaches you will experience forgiveness because the Holy Spirit will enable you because of your love for the saints. You can read or hear about forgiveness but you really don’t know it until you experience it.
v. How do we get a deeper understanding of the good things that God has given unto us? By applying or exercising them in our life. When we walk in obedience to God’s Word we begin to experience the good things within us for God has given us the capacity to love, to be kind, to be humble, to forgive and so on by His Holy Spirit. Once you do it, Philemon, you immediately experience the goodness of forgiveness.
It is one thing looking at pictures of people skiing in the mountains, reading and studying about how to ski in different terrains, and hearing endless stories of other people’s ski adventures on the various slopes around the world. That’s a two dimensional flat knowledge, merely intellectual knowledge. But when we take that passion physically to a snow-covered mountain and experience for ourselves the thrill, the joy, and the exhilaration of skiing, we have the epignosis or a more thorough or deeper knowledge (a three dimensional knowledge) of skiing. We got some depth on it.
In the spiritual realm we can read about the two dimensional flat knowledge on the pages of the Bible that defines forgiveness, but will never realize the epignosis or deep, fuller knowledge of forgiveness until we forgive and experience it. When we read we must exercise what we have read in order to know every good thing that God has put in us. If we don’t exercise the truth we flatline. And deadbeats don’t connect with anybody.
What kind of person has the capacity to forgive? One who grows in grace. One who cares about the body of Christ. One who loves others. One who is a Christian.
5. A forgiving person desires to glorify Christ – verse 6, in Christ Jesus.
- Gk, “unto Christ”
- ESV, “for the sake of Christ”
- Paul in 1 Cor 10:31 tells us to glorify God in all that we do.
- The overarching purpose in all that we say and do is for Christ’s glory, His sake, His name, for His praise.
- When we fail to forgive, our vengeance is more important than forgiving for Christ’s sake. We honor Him when we obey His Word; we dishonor Him when we are disobedient.
6. A forgiving person desires to be a blessing to others – verse 7, For we have great joy and consolation in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother.
- Paul received “great” joy and comfort by Philemon’s love
- In what way”? “Because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother.”
i. The Greek word for “heart” is splagchnon. KJV translates “bowels.” It is the seat of the emotions and passions, the feelings.
ii. People hurting, troubled, wearied, and struggling have found Philemon to be a blessing to them.
iii. “Refreshed” means to give rest, to restore strength. Think of it in military terms when soldiers have been marching and stop to rest. Philemon was a source of restoration, an oasis in the desert to others. Same Greek word used by Jesus in Mat 11:28, Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
iv. People who only want to be a blessing to others will forgive.
- Note Paul’s use of the word “brother” at the end of verse 7.
i. He suggests to Philemon the mutual belonging they share as both are part of the body of Christ, a personal, familial appeal.When Philemon reads verses 4-7 he is going to feel pretty good about himself particularly since it came from the Apostle Paul. With verse 8 and following, his love for all the saints is going to be put to the supreme test because his runaway slave, Onesimus, is now a fellow believer in Christ. Paul, however, is confident because of the kind of man Philemon is that he will do the right thing and forgive Onesimus.
ii. This is the word when we hear it that should remind us of our connection and accountability to one another in the body of Christ. We are family, brothers and sisters in Christ. This is our fellowship that we have in common, our belonging. The Holy Spirit lives within each one of us if we are genuine believers.
What kind of person has the capacity to forgive? One who blesses others.
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Wrapping it up, what kind of person is a forgiver?- One who is a Christian
- One who loves others
- One who cares about the body of Christ
- One who grows in grace
- One who glorifies Christ
- One who blesses others
